It has been awhile since you’ve heard from me and there are several reasons for that. First, grad school has been an absolute brain drain and I’ve had to make some tradeoffs in terms of my energy. Second, there have been many energetic shifts to navigate and I haven’t had clarity around them, so again, to understand what to do with these shifts, it’s taken some cocoon time.
Change is happening, re-direction is inevitable and it can be scary. Have you been experiencing the same? How has it been going for you?
I had a conversation with a good friend last week who was updating me on a situation where she thought the drama was over, but something happened and she felt like she’d been kicked in the teeth. It was a ‘salt in the wound’ moment if you know what I mean. She was dismissed from her job, despite being wooed by company leadership and amazing pay. They treated her poorly once she was on the ground. It was nothing like she’d ever experienced before. She knew she had to leave her previous position and this was fitting…on paper and even in the interview.
But day after day something always felt like it was harder than it needed to be. Turns out the company had completely mislead her and let her go. We touched base a couple of times during this experience and the one thing my friend said was how she questioned herself based on the horrible treatment she was receiving from these people. Her ego and identity were shattered and she felt lost. How could this have been such a wrong decision?!
Fast forward to the conversation we had last week and she described the latest development with the company (yes, even post employment). We talked about the concept of ego, identity and death. Not death from the loss of life perspective (even though that is something I’ve dealt with very recently) but the concept of ego death.
This is a term I heard months ago from a teacher I follow, but didn’t quite understand until this conversation with my friend. They talked about it referencing the changes many of us are experiencing right now. It’s the questioning of who and what we are. We are shifting. The timelines are shifting. Energies are overwhelming.
The opportunities that seem to stop for no reason despite us putting our heart and soul into it. The re-direction of our paths, despite all of the months and hours of planning for a certain situation or outcome. We thought we had our footing underneath us, but we are rudely awakened to a change. Our path isn’t what we thought it would be and it's confusing and frustrating. But what if this is our sign that it's time to fully step into our mission and be who we came here to be NOW? What if all of this chaos is the shedding of everything we don't need and it feels bad because we're letting go of parts of ourselves (or who we thought ourselves to be)?
So, my friend talked about how much time she now had for her actual passion, which has been flowing effortlessly now that she’s given her nervous system time to rest and re-calibrate to life without the stress and chaos of her previous positions. She feels more clear and capable.
And despite her fear because of this new endeavor, she feels really good about it because it’s what she’s here to do and feels more ready than ever to dive in. She now has more integrity with herself and alignment in her life. She's feeling flow now in a way that's been a dream for a long time.
In these times everything we thought to be true is challenged. Everything we thought we wanted no longer feels expansive and exciting. Nothing seems to be working. This is the ego death. It is shedding the old so we can make space for the new, the right, the aligned. It is uncomfortable, yet it is happening for many of us. And it happens whether we like it or not. We can resist and prolong the process, making it painful and frustrating, or we can open to the unfolding.
The thing is, there’s a lot to learn (and unlearn) in this journey but know you aren’t alone. Eventually we find our way! This is what I’ve been navigating over the last few months. With school, business and health. Some things have completely fallen apart, but other opportunities have shown up.
So I find myself figuring out what to do with what wants to stay and go. There have been some signs that I didn’t see, couldn’t see, and quite honestly ignored because I was convinced I could orchestrate my way through it. That never works by the way, and I know it, but sometimes old habits die slow and hard. This is the battle between old and new. The new creeps in and if you get a glimpse of it, you have a choice to go with that or remain with the old. And it's been about navigating feelings and beliefs tied to my identity. It's been facing this ego topic directly and choosing to see it as a gift. But I won't lie, it's been difficult particularly sitting with emotions and deciding to take action that represents new. Creating new habits and patterns isn't easy, but I've been working on mine just as you can work on yours. The new will prevail!
December is a time of celebration and reflection with the pending new year, so this is the perfect time for a year in review. If you're navigating this old vs new battle in your own life, this is the perfect time to merge this reflection with your exploration and sheddding. For me, change is in process so I’m flowing with it and getting out the the way to release some things that are wanting to go. For you, I’d like to share some questions to support your reflection that may help with your process.
Questions and Journal Prompts
- What is working? What is not working?
- What are some of my accomplishments this year?
- What didn’t quite work the way I thought?
- How have I responded to these changes?
- How have I felt doing the things that worked?
- What can I keep doing?
- What needs to be released to help me in my evolution?
- What changes can I make to support myself and my goals?
- What are some things I’d like to accomplish in the next year? Why?
I hope you've found this helpful. I know these times are difficult, but we are here during this time for a reason. If you need support navigating these winds of change, please feel free to reach out and we can discuss the best way to get you to where you want to go. All the best to you in this journey and to the new year!